Participating in 5 Minute Fridays. 5 minutes to write about one word. Unedited.
This week’s word: TRUST
My last health update was last May, and I was in searching for answers for an extreme nausea that I had been experiencing for weeks.
20 pounds lost, watching the scale go down brought on such fear and anxiety.
A summer full of tests & more tests, still no answers.
No sign of cancer brought some relief to my fear, but unknowns still abound–yet I will trust.
I went off cancer meds, thinking they were the culprit, but they were not. Adjusting to going off of them & then back on was — an adjustment. Chemical menopause, then not paused, then chemical menopause once again brought more than pause, it stopped me in my tracks. There were many days of crying out to God in despair. I wanted answers. I wanted normal. I wanted to be able to feel well again & write well again, instead of forcing yet another recipe post.
I am feeling better and finding my normal. Anti-anxiety medication seems to be the answer I needed to bring back normal, for cancer meds don’t just steal my hormones but what seemed to be the whole of who I am.
The nausea still lingers in the mornings, but yet another medication has taken the severity of it away and I am able to eat again and my weight has stabilized. I am so. very. thankful. A bit of weight has been gained, & so has my trust.
God was near this past year. I have been running hard to Him in the hard moments, for hard moments turn to precious in His presence. It is in these hard life moments when desperation gives no choice but search His words for help and hope, & He is always there, saying “Trust.”