I am at a weird point in my cancer journey. It is quiet. I have time to think and reflect. I just keep thinking about how very blessed I am to have this TIME with my family and friends, and to enjoy God’s beautiful creation in the springtime. My baby girl turned “8” recently, and I am just struck at how fleeting the moments are, and I so want to BE PRESENT and thankful in each moment.
I have felt frustration with my “ups and downs” lately. I KNOW just how great it is to be alive and feeling good. I LONG to live fully in each moment, but I also know that doesn’t mean each moment is going to be perfect, or that I am going to respond perfectly in the moments. I know there is a time to grieve and a time to laugh. I just want to live WELL.
I have just learned of another cancer fighter, whom I have been following on Caring Bridge and praying for, is now at peace and in Heaven. His faith, fight and family all have made a lasting impression on me.
He has 2 girls, who are so beautiful and brave. When I read that they went to school after learning of their dad’s early morning passing, I just cried for them and their hurting, brave, sweet hearts.
It is a reminder to me that we just never know what life is going to bring, and we just don’t know the number of days– of moments we have. The fighter I mentioned above had clear scans in October. He didn’t know that come April his fight would be over, but God knew. It is clear in their story that He is holding them all.
I don’t want to get comfortable. When I get comfortable I get passive and I react to life instead of respond to the moments it brings. I want to live with a purpose, an awareness of what truly matters. This is why I love the above song, for it reminds.