Five minutes to write on the word: Welcome.
Write–don’t edit–just 5 minutes to be in the moment–
These words, these songs of JJ Heller’s, they speak my heart, they lift my head.
I say goodbye to last year, 2014. Good riddance.
It was a year of struggle, of mental tug of war, of hormones switched on and off by monstrous needles jabbing each month, of watching those I love suffer and some of them lose everything.
Still much to be thankful for, I grasped at those thankful moments all the while sinking in despair. At the end of the year I willed myself to list my thankful, sometimes it felt like that list was the only pathway to reality & truth.
2014. You were a hard year.
With you comes a fresh start, for His promises never change and He makes all things new.
There is still suffering and sweet friends waiting in anguish on test results and others with stage 4 diagnosis & those damn monthly needles in my stomach whose thought of them makes it churn.
But. As sweet JJ Heller and her handsome husband sing,
I am not focusing on the ‘cracks in the walls or the times that I fall.’
I WILL NOT.
*It’s all becoming so clear
There is no use living in regret
Let’s fight a good fight
Train our eyes to find the light
That makes this year the best one yet!
Starting right here
I will not live in the dark room. Not when my saving Savior is wooing me to the light room.
The Man That I Love
And for the man that I love:
I plan on thinking less of “I” and “me”
I resolve to think of “us” and “we”
I can’t wait to see what good will come
To feel alive instead of feeling numb
How? How can I say these things with such certainty and without looking back? How will I run to the safety of the light room?
By welcoming truth.
The truth is, I have someone who will (in the words of another beautiful song by Heller)
*Love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
I open my eyes from looking at all the despair,
I will lift my head & run to the light room and a God that says:
*I will give you the love
The love that you never knew
So, to 2015 I say “Hello & Welcome.”