As a 2-time cancer survivor, I look at life with tangible knowledge that life could end at any given moment. None of us know how long we have here on this earth. This legacy series to my 3 girls…my lovelies… is my way of attempting to leave a legacy for them. To speak of what is most important for them to know from me, their forever Mom.
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It’s funny, my girls. I’ve wanted to write this series for awhile, but where to start? There are so many important things I want to tell you, and frankly I fail at this so often. I try to tell you verbally, and I know, especially now that you are older, that it often turns into a lecture.
So, I’ve decided to start with a journal entry I found, dating back to the year 2008. I remember writing it. I was at the Lied Lodge in Nebraska City, having a day set apart for just me and God. I remember a feeling a strong sense of unease, like something big was coming up and I needed to prepare both myself and my family for it. I didn’t know what that meant, but I had this pressing desire to express to you words that I would want to say if I ever was not around to say them.
This was 2 years before my cancer diagnosis. You were only age 9, 8 & 5. Precious wee ones. I’ve decided to share this with you as the first post of this series because I thought it was fitting to start with truth, and an apology.
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{Mother’s Day 2011}
Journal Entry March 18, 2009
For My Girls:
You are God’s precious treasure.
So very precious.
He also has treasure for you!
Receive the treasure He offers you.
The treasure of Jesus.
Nothing compares to Him! He will never leave you or forsake you. You will never be alone. He holds you in His hands. I entrust you to him, you are His, not mine.
Forgive me, my girls. I know I am not patient. At times my words can be harsh and my temper gets the best of me too often. God is working on me, and I promise to continue to grow in Him. He is creating a work in me. I pray He protects you from my shortcomings and my growth process. Oh, how I long to be a Mom who is already complete in my wisdom. But, until Heaven, when we will all be perfected and will all act perfectly, I will keep running forward and doing my best for Him in this crazy race of life. What a blessing to get to run this race with your Dad as my husband (he is SO wonderful) and as you 3 as my girls. You bring me so much JOY! God is only getting started with you, this is only just the beginning! He has so much for you. His way truly is the only way.
Follow Him. Keep His commands. Accept His forgiveness.
Have patience while He completes his work in you and don’t give into Satan’s lies. He will tell you that you are not good enough. He is a liar, a deceiver. Fill you mind with God’s truth about you so you can discern when Satan is trying to trick. He is sneaky. Watch for his craftiness BUT BY NO MEANS BE FEARFUL of him.
Our God is so powerful and so much bigger. Get to know God’s promises and cling to them, to Him, for He is truly awesome.
I Love You More-n,
Mom
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Kate@StillRoomToGrow
January 25, 2013 at 4:05 amWhat a wonderful idea!
Nichole
January 13, 2013 at 7:45 amYour words are always so powerfull, you give true insperation, thank you for being so open and sharing. I often read your posts and relate so strongly (excluding your battles with cancer, i have never and could never imagine that experience and truly respect your courage and strength), you convey through your words what i often feel so deeply but could never form so graciously and clear.
Amy Bowman
January 14, 2013 at 2:24 pmencouragement like yours keeps me writing and willing to share. thank you for taking the time to comment, Nichole!