A Health Update & The Best Girlfriends

I have this special group of girlfriends.  We are not able to get together as a whole very often, but when we do–world watch out! We wine, dine & “go there,”  opening up our worlds and hearts to each other, knowing it is one of the safest places to do so.

Because we are not able to get together often, much of this opening of hearts and worlds happens in a Facebook group that we have formed.  It is the place of many smiles and inside jokes, but most often it is the place where we place our prayer requests.

After I wrote this health update, I let my sweet group of friends know about it and asked them to pray for me.  For some reason it took me longer than usual to update them.  I’ve been quiet, a bit withdrawn.  I blame nausea for this. When it lasts at least half the day, it seems to take me the rest of the day to recover emotionally, and then it starts over the next day. So, it has made me quiet.  And tired.  I spin my wheels trying to keep up with life, most of the time in a weird spot of wanting to be busy but being so very tired from just putting one foot in front of the other and a smile on, yet, busyness has brought relief. My girls keep me busy and driving them around is about the only thing that feels normal right now as my body sure doesn’t. And since I’m being honest I suppose it took me a bit to ask for prayer as there is a part of me that is not just physically tired but also tired of being the ‘sick girl.’

I want to be well and strong and happy and fun!

Sometimes life has other plans and they are not fun.

But here is the deal.  God shows up even in the ‘not fun.’  He does.  I’m in the middle of typing this not-so-fun post and my Facebook messenger dings and it is one of my girlfriends from the said Facebook group, who has been praying for a job but that prayer is not yet answered so she has time and wants to be with me during my upcoming scans.  This is the first time I have not asked anyone to come with me.  I am not sure why, it’s just that ‘quiet’ thing I guess. This new ‘a-bit-withdrawn’ me.  Not really knowing what I need or will want moment-by-moment but God sure does.  I’m not sure if we can work it out for her to be there, but just knowing she was willing was a God-kiss for me.

The responses I got from my sweet friends in my Facebook group were so dear. One tells me she is “praying peace over and around” me.  Another sent me the song I post below that just soothed me and was what I needed to hear. It really hit me while listening to it how I’ve been consumed with trying to solve the mystery of my health, trying to figure out why I have been feeling so sick, instead of just resting and trusting. I confessed my anxiety to the group and she also reminded me to hold every thought captive & worship, worship, worship our God. What better advice could one give? I needed it and my heart received it. Such sweet love.

By the time I finished this post my sweet friend group offered to come by an evening this week to pray for me, led by one who told me she has been praying Luke 7:50 at 7:50 a.m. for me every morning since writing my last ‘health update’ post. Yeah, overwhelming love.

+++++++

So scans.  It has been 2 years and my Oncologist wants to look inside and make sure we are not missing anything with my new symptoms of nausea, weight loss and fatigue.  She is also giving me a month-long break from my cancer meds, including my dreaded monthly shot that places an implant under my skin each month to shut my ovaries down. She wants to see if that is what is causing the symptoms.  My next one is due on Friday so if I start having relief from symptoms around that time then maybe the cancer meds are the culprits.  If so, well, that is another post, and I will keep you  updated.

In the meantime, I’m going to obey my girlfriends and trust our very trustworthy God and worship, worship, worship!

Psalms 59:16 But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.

 Trust

1. 1.

   firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

 I Will Trust In You

by Lauren Dangle

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see

I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen

So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand

Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

I will trust in You!